Male Fragility

Growing up, there was a great divide between boys and girls. Girls played sports like tennis, softball, and for the tough girls, there was flag football. For boys, there was baseball, football, wrestling, and many others. And all of those sports were layered with colloquialisms like “be a man”, “come on, get tough”, “walk it off”, and “don’t cry.” Something I like to call male fragility.

There was constant talk about being anything less than stone faced was considered weakness. Men couldn’t cry or show any emotion, unless they were alone.

Lately, in the media, there has been a conversation about toxic masculinity and allowing men to share their feelings. To that same degree, there has been a counter-movement about men becoming soft. Guys need to be men again. Guys need to go out and hunt, shoot guns, get drunk with the boys. And most importantly, keep your woman home, barefoot and pregnant.

Male Fragility is the new White Fragility

Over the last week, I had been reading a book, White Fragility, by Robin Diangelo. The book was popular during the George Floyd protests in the summer of 2020. It is written by a white woman about how hard it is to talk to white people about racism.

She would illustrate how aggressive white people got by simply bringing up the topic. Even in workplaces where over 90 percent of employees were white, they felt like they were being replaced. Now that feeling comes from an old conspiracy theory about how the white race is being replaced by migrants, Jews, and blacks.

Yet, there is some truth to the white race being “polluted” by non-white DNA. This isn’t because, as some conspiracy theorist say, an extermination of white people by globalist. It is because white people are choosing to marry and have children with people from other races. But that’s too easy of a concept. Why? Because it puts the blame on white people and we can’t have that.

You’re probably wondering to yourself, “Steven, what does this have to do with boys becoming men?” That’s because I started to look at the book’s concept and broadening its scope. Male fragility was a concept I started thinking about when reading that book.

Why are men so afraid of men doing whatever the fuck they want to do? Why are so many men afraid of men being helpful around the house? Scared of men seeing movies like Barbie? Guys playing video games? Being toxic to women?

That brings us to this week’s episode: “Male Fragility”.

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