If you have been following me for the last year, or so, you know I have been trying to find my direction. After being forced to leave my home in California, I have been residing in Arizona for little over seven months. I had hope that things would change overnight. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen. The job market has been the same here as it was in Los Angeles. Get one rejection letter from fifty that I sent out. The rest just don’t reply. Had two interviews and nothing came of it.
I even thought that I could meet some people. Maybe start a new friend group. That never materialized either. Where I live, it is the suburbs. Like hardcore suburbs. Everything is way too spread out. Seldom see anyone walking the streets. Nothing that has any interest for me is remotely close.
After some legal wrangling, I’m able to sell my house. For a short time, I was looking around here to find a place to live. Get a car. Start my life over. I’ve tried their metro service, but many of the jobs I applied to require at minimum a one hour bus ride. That is just one way. That would mean two-and-a-half hour roundtrip transit ride onto top of my eight hour shift.
After each passing day, I don’t want to stay here. In March, there was an average of 107 degree heatwave. That was after a warmer than average winter. We have just started July and we are having 110 degree average weeks. Last week, we had a cool down into the upper nineties. From then on, I need to move out of the state. Whatever amount of money I end up with after the sale, it will more than enough to get a new start.
My future is coming more into focus
Before I moved here, even before my brother passed, I knew this isn’t where I wanted to end up. Don’t get me wrong. I am grateful for my cousin that opened her home up to me. Took me in to get settled. Allow me to enjoy central air, hot and cold running water, and electricity that you don’t have to worry about starting a fire. But my ultimate goal was to reside in a place that has four actual seasons.
Eighty degree Christmas’ in Los Angeles got annoying. 100+ degree summers is not happening. After some deliberation, I think I’m heading Colorado. Denver to be exact. It has snow. It has spring and definitely a fall. One bedroom apartments, upon some research, are a less than one bedrooms in Los Angeles. Rent prices are not as cheap as I was told when I moved to Arizona.
Unlike many people, my situation would be better. I would be able to set myself up with a decent place. A used car. Some have told me with the money I should get, I could upscale it a bit. Being someone that dealt with financial insecurity, I wanna budget that money.
Give myself a ballpark. Look at their estimated rent and see how much that would be for a year. Can it stretch past a year. If so, good. A used car would be fine. Get me from Arizona to Colorado, which is a little more than a twelve hour drive. Be able to get around town. Once I get a job, see if I can upgrade afterwards. Give Oliver the kind of life he deserves.
Some said that if I got a car in Arizona, it would be a lot better.
The heat is the killer of that thought
It would still be hot. Some observation I’ve done, I notice that the older people get, the more temperature sensitivity increases. From what I’ve seen, older people get sensitive to cold. I’m the other way. The older I get, the more I hate the heat. Maybe it has to do with dealing with no central air in LA. Especially since the temperature has been getting warmer each year.
For me, the colder I am, the better. I have so many clothes that are better for colder climates. Yes, there is the “grass is always greener” concept. However, that concept led me here. But I knew the heat was going to be a thing but I saw the upside of having central air. Yes, Denver can get to 100 and it does have summer storms. But summer storms help cool things down. But when the average for the summer is 110, that is just oppressive.
Again, I want four seasons. To be honest, nothing really tied me to LA anymore. It is just me. Well, Oliver and I. He is a resilient cat. I am doing this mostly for him. Taking him outside during the summer and he isn’t having it. I want a better life for myself. But he is my why. Slowly, I’m feeling more comfortable. A direction is forming. Confidence is building. I’ll be honest, living in limbo sucks.